I watched an interview with Costi W. Hinn on "Wretched Radio" via YouTube. Of course, I was initially drawn in by the title, "Why Benny Hinn's nephew won't donate to his uncle's ministry".
Benny Hinn is a name that just kind of dropped out of the scene for me and I never thought to seek why. My grandparents faithfully watched more televangelist than I could even name. They knew all the who's who in the TV preaching world and they faithfully supported  some of those ministries. 
There are preachers and speakers that I enjoy watching from time to time but I've never felt compelled to send money in. I figured by the look of their church auditoriums they were doing just fine without my money. 
So, when I heard about his book I was interested to see what his insider look would show. 

First of all, this is not an "I hate Benny Hinn and prosperity preachers" book or anything of that nature. In fact, I commend Costi for a few things. He shows things from his perspective. He speaks to the conflicts that he was feeling and how God laid out opportunities for him to find truth among the deception he had known as 'normal'. Also, the book doesn't have a 'what I believe is right' feel to it. Again, it is written as a testimony of a man who's eyes were open to truth.

Second of all, although the book is marketed to expose the deception taught by the prosperity gospel, this is a book I would recommend to any believer. It digs into the truth of the gospel and hits on so many different aspects of deception that have infiltrated the modern church.

Above all else, I appreciate his call for believers to get in their Bibles to find truth out and seek God on their own. This book is a great example of how a testimony should inspire others to seek God as well and discover for themselves who he is and what he stands for rather than take someone's word for it.

Have you ever had someone tell you that you don't pray for patience? I'm always told that the reason you don't pray for patience is because yours will be tested. Um, isn't that kind of the point? How would you develop patience unless there were situations that required you to be patient?

Obviously this is a blog for those that have ears to hear because I'm sure I lost a few readers just by featuring the yin yang symbol. The Bible constantly talks about these 'contrary' forces. I'm not saying that I embrace everything there is in the yin yang philosophy but to quote We Are Messengers, "Maybe it's ok, if I'm not ok."
I pray for patience with my boys a lot. I pray because I don't want to turn into the Hulk the moment they get rowdy. It's no good for me and it certainly doesn't teach them anything. However, me being recognized as a patient person doesn't come by everything going good and grand every moment of my life. The times that people recognize my patience most are the times when Hulk is rising up just under my collar. Times when I recognize that I don't want people to see me, I want them to see God. Times when I don’t want to be like me, I want to be like Christ.
Praying for patience, joy, or self-control and thinking that stress, sadness, and temptation will not show up is like asking a trainer to help you build muscle and then standing in shook when they bust out the weights. Resistance builds muscle, conflict develops character.
As Christians, we should pray for patience as well as the other fruits of the spirit- love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. What we shouldn't do is find ourselves caught off guard when the weights appear.

God, help us understand the difference between praying our will and your will. Help us to understand forgiveness and grace did not come from a beautiful rose with droplets of morning dew but from the slaughtered blood of a sacrificial lamb you called Your Son. You make beautiful things. Diamonds don't come without extreme pressure. Remind us of your love. Remind us of your promises as we face trials. Remind us that you are God and break us free from religious lies that say, "God is good so everything should be good always." That is not what your Word tells us. We are told that there will be sorrows and trials and heartache this side of heaven but not to lose hope because you are God. We are told that the rain falls on the righteous and the wicked alike. We are bound to experience the same things that happen to all of mankind but as Christians we are no longer slaves to sin. We no longer have to respond the same as we did before we knew Christ. There is a new way to live. Thank you, God. Amen.

This "freedom" has come up quite a few times over the past week and a half. What does it mean to experience freedom through the Spirit of the Lord? I was reading another verse last week and it said, "My brothers and sisters, God called you to be free, but do not use your freedom as an excuse to do what pleases your sinful self. Serve each other with love." Galatians 5:13 NCV
Freedom. What does that word truly mean?

Just in case you are like me and you didn't know what "onerous" meant, it means burdensome. The weight of sin is burdensome for sure. But what does the freedom that comes with the Spirit of the Lord truly look like in our lives. Freedom allows that weight to be lifted from us.

I took it one step at a time.

• I told my husband to finish edging the yard. The yard wasn't going to finish edging itself.
• I began vacuuming up the glass. I recognized that if I was in his shoes I would continue to beat myself up over the mistake while I cleaned it up. I didn't want him doing that. I wanted him to refocus.
• I called insurance. I realize that the first thing that we saw was money flying out of our bank account. That was a silly thing to worry about because we pay a monthly fee (car insurance) to cover things like this.

Being a Christian is about daily making a choice to plug into God, or as the Bible says pick up our cross. Do you think Jesus wanted to die on the cross for a bunch of sinners? I'm gonna go with, no, since he asked God multiple times to give him a different task (take this cup). But, he loved the Father so much that He wanted to see His will/His kingdom present here on earth. 
What shattered windows are popping up in your life to distract you from the freedom God has for you? In case you didn't get the metaphor, how are you handling the issues that arise in your life? Are you returning to default mode (sinful self) and trying to figure out everything on your own or switching things to freedom mode and putting your trust in God?
If your mode is not reflecting the fruit of the Spirit as listed in Galatians 5:22&23 you can know that you've switched to default mode and rejected the freedom you should be living in.

God, this was one time that I turned to you and knew that things would go well. But there are so many, many, many times that I switch to default mode. Holy Spirit guide me. I don't want to live in default mode, never experiencing true freedom. I want to rejoice in the freedom that Jesus provided for me through His sacrifice. Remind me to approach situations in a new light. Approach situations with the example that Jesus set. Approach them in a way to make God's kingdom real and tangible to those watching. That onlookers would see a new way of living. Amen 

"But the Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. There is no law that says these things are wrong. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified their own sinful selves. They have given up their old selfish feelings and the evil things they wanted to do. We get our new life from the Spirit, so we should follow the Spirit." Galatians 5:22-25 NCV

What was Paul's advice for the Christians in Rome? "Stop doing what you want to do when you want to do it. Start living in a new way, a way that reflects how Jesus lived. You were born into sin (darkness) but you've accepted a new life (light) so start living in it."

We were all born slaves to a defect, an imperfection, that separates us from our perfect Creator. Sin. However, Jesus stepped in and said, "Hey, I'm going to purchase that one right there. That one that everyone says won't amount to anything. That one that thinks they are good for nothing. The scrawny one that everyone overlooks. That pretty one that's damaged on the inside. That's the one I want right there. But I'm not going to purchase them with any kind of currency, instead I'm going to purchase them with my own blood."
And when he did that, he broke our bondage to sin. Unfortunately, since all we've ever know is sin we have to be taught a new way to live now that we are free. Jesus set that example for us.
While he was here on earth he didn't focus on earth, he focused on God. That is what set him apart. He wasn't trying to get ahead, stressing over his legacy, fretting about his family. His focus was on God and the kingdom to come. Christians, that is where our focus must be also. 
I get it, there are days when everything is going crazy. There are days when you're tired or depressed. There are days when your anxiety  is through the roof. On those days, God isn't your focus.
There are days when you're hitting the daily grind and getting things done. There are days when the sun is shining and life is good. There are days that you're relaxing. On those days, God isn't your focus. 
If we call ourselves Christians, Christ is our example. Every part, good or bad, every moment of every day- God is to be our focus. Not my will but Yours be done.

God, it's not easy. Sometimes I think the disciples had it easy because they had Jesus right in front of them. But then I read the Bible and see that even though they had him setting an example right in front of them they still doubted, they still forgot. Lord, help me to live my life transparently. When troubles come let me not be afraid to say, "Things are getting tough but I will stand on God, he is my rock." When things are going good let me not think it's silly to say, "God is so awesome and wonderful. All that I have is His. I am nothing without Him." Let my words and my life be a light in this dark world that points others to the freedom they can experience with You through Your Son, Jesus. That they too could say, "Good or bad I will not wavier- my focus is on God." AMEN!

Let's adjust our focus to God and watch our problems fade in the light of His glory and power.

Here are a few songs to help you readjust your focus.

Our younger boys are fourteen months apart. With that kind of age difference, it is difficult not to compete, especially for our boys. At least once a day there is some kind of 'oh yeah, well..." or "that's not the way..." conversation. One of them is always trying to tell the other what is best for them based on their own personality rather than considering their brother's likes or dislikes. Today was no different. 

As we were school shopping, I was trying to think of a project they could do that would occupy some time and encourage creativity. We bought shoes and fabric paint then headed home.

Josiah wanted gold that sparkled like treasure and Solomon said yellow was his favorite color (this changes often). 
While they were painting Josiah said he wanted a lightening bolt for Flash. Well, Flash is Solomon's favorite superhero, so of course, Solomon wanted a lightening bolt as well. Josiah said he was painting the other shoe all gold, so of course, Solomon said he was going to paint the other shoe all one color as well.

Then something awesome happened. Solomon went rogue and decided to do his own thing. He mixed the gold and yellow paint and started painting both his shoes all over covering up the lightening bolt. I was happy to see their individual personalities coming through in something as simple as painting.

It made me think about how God must look down at us wondering why we are trying to be more like our brother or sister rather than embracing ourselves. God, made us each unique for a reason, it wasn't a mistake. If he wanted us to be the same he could have easily done that. 

I worked with people that were skilled in one area and people that were skilled in another area. When they began competing with each other or trying to be more like each other, it was painful for everyone in the office. But when they each embraced their own skills and handed off the stuff the other was talented at things ran smooth.

It is the same with the body of Christ. We must accept what we need to recognize what our talents are and what are talents aren't. But even more than that, we need to recognize what our brothers and sisters' talents are and what they are not so we can encourage them as well.

I remember going to a special revival service at my parent's church and there was someone talking about receiving healing. They wore glasses and they believed that God wanted to heal their eyes. They smashed their glasses and God healed them! (They did add a disclaimer that God didn't heal everyone the same way so unless God was telling you to smash your glasses it probably wasn't a good idea.)

Well, I remember going up and asking for prayer. I really wanted my teeth to be normal. I really wanted to smile without being self-conscious of what others might think. Nothing miraculous happened during that service. I went home and I still believed God could heal me. That day I decided to throw the retainer away (sorry Mom and Dad). I was going to stand on the fact that God was going to heal me. And he did! Just not the way I thought he was going to. Instead of giving me the healing that I wanted, He gave me the healing that I needed. Instead of growing my teeth, He grew my confidence. 

I still have moments that I get self-conscious about my smile but it's typically around people I don't know very well or just met. In those moment, the Holy Spirit is prompt to remind me how much my husband and children love my smile. 

This seems like a silly topic to write about. In fact, this is the first time I have shared this story with anyone. But if it helps you to appreciate the "flaws" that you have then praise God!

God, sometimes there are "flaws" that occur in our lives that have to be removed medically or miraculously because they are hazardous to our health. But sometimes there are "flaws" that aren't really flaws, we just label them that because these flaws make us look different from everyone else. Lord, with all that in mind, help us to pray your will and stand on it. God, I believed that you would heal me by growing my teeth but you saw the greater need in my heart. Thank you for knowing so much more than I know. Help me to seek You when praying for others needs. Help me to seek You and believe that You know ALL I need. Amen.