Life never seems to go the way that we plan it. Last night, after getting off work at midnight, my youngest son came into the room saying he was going to be sick.
He had only got choked from being congested but the little guy slept in my room all night anyway. During the night, he decided to ask random question, almost always right as I was drifting back to sleep.
Why am I sharing this? To be transparent. A lot of times I hear Christians acting like they have it all together. I’ve been one of them in the past. It was as if people wouldn’t believe in God if things weren’t going well all the time.
But honestly, when I look back at my life it wasn’t the times when things were going well that people wanted to know who my God was. It was the times when I was struggling the hardest. When we had a miscarriage, when there was a death, when we were about to become homeless for three weeks.
During those times I was frustrated but not with God. I knew that God would make something beautiful from it all. I was frustrated with this broken world. Frustrated that bad things happen. Frustrated that we don’t value the lives of others as much as we should. Just frustrated.
Also during those times was when I had the most people say, “ I don’t understand how you’re so calm I’d be a mess right now.” To which I’d answer, “God.”

If you find yourself dealing with the crazy frustrations today, take a moment to read the Bible. If you don’t have one check out biblegateway.com or the youversion app. (Ephesians is a pretty good book to start on) Get to know about the God that created the heavens and the earth. The God that wants you to experience joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, self-control, gentleness, love, and faithfulness. These things will show up wherever he is. It will be the fruit that his people have upon them. But don’t stop at reading about him from the perspective of others. Take time to talk to him and listen for him to talk back. He’s not a distance deity wanting to lord over humanity. He wants an intimate relationship with each and every one of us.

God, I pray for anyone reading this today. No matter what frustrations they may be experiencing today, God, give them peace like a breathe of fresh air. Even if circumstances don’t change today or tomorrow, allow them to experience freedom from those circumstances. Freedom that only you can give us. Amen.

Our younger boys are fourteen months apart. With that kind of age difference, it is difficult not to compete, especially for our boys. At least once a day there is some kind of 'oh yeah, well..." or "that's not the way..." conversation. One of them is always trying to tell the other what is best for them based on their own personality rather than considering their brother's likes or dislikes. Today was no different. 

As we were school shopping, I was trying to think of a project they could do that would occupy some time and encourage creativity. We bought shoes and fabric paint then headed home.

Josiah wanted gold that sparkled like treasure and Solomon said yellow was his favorite color (this changes often). 
While they were painting Josiah said he wanted a lightening bolt for Flash. Well, Flash is Solomon's favorite superhero, so of course, Solomon wanted a lightening bolt as well. Josiah said he was painting the other shoe all gold, so of course, Solomon said he was going to paint the other shoe all one color as well.

Then something awesome happened. Solomon went rogue and decided to do his own thing. He mixed the gold and yellow paint and started painting both his shoes all over covering up the lightening bolt. I was happy to see their individual personalities coming through in something as simple as painting.

It made me think about how God must look down at us wondering why we are trying to be more like our brother or sister rather than embracing ourselves. God, made us each unique for a reason, it wasn't a mistake. If he wanted us to be the same he could have easily done that. 

I worked with people that were skilled in one area and people that were skilled in another area. When they began competing with each other or trying to be more like each other, it was painful for everyone in the office. But when they each embraced their own skills and handed off the stuff the other was talented at things ran smooth.

It is the same with the body of Christ. We must accept what we need to recognize what our talents are and what are talents aren't. But even more than that, we need to recognize what our brothers and sisters' talents are and what they are not so we can encourage them as well.

Yesterday was the first day full day back from our Florida trip. My cousin's celebration went well and the book signing went well. Now I'm back in the thick of the real world. No more lazy days at the beach or no regard to what time it is. Now I have sinks filling up with dishes, baskets filling up with laundry, boys wanting to know what they can do because they're bored, and book projects waiting to be completed. 
I thought about writing last night when Jacob got home. But instead, I went to bed.

Why do I do this? Do you ever have those moments? Moments when you know there are things that you can get done but you have no motivation to do them?

This morning, I woke up thinking about my boys. Do I challenge them? Do I encourage them to be everything that they can be? And even more so, am I modeling that for them with my own life? My answer is no. All too often, I am modeling excuses. How do I change this? 

God, guide me. Show me the best way to manage my day and the most responsible way to use the time I have been given. Sometimes, ok, most of the times, it is hard to figure out when to do what. I could pour a ton of time into writing and forget to spend time with Jacob and the boys, or I could pour a ton of time into my family and forget to take time to write. Help me with this. Amen.

Man, look at how much they change in just four short years! My husband and I like to look back at pictures of the kids and remember the fun things we did together as a family. Both Elijah and Josiah have photo books covering adventures we took during their first 4 years of life. Solomon keeps reminding me that I haven't finished his yet.

You succeed at adulting when you take the time to wash your clothes. You succeed at parenting when your child understands the clothes don't wash themselves.
Don't wait to read the right book or get the right advice. Embrace every moment with your kids. And maybe, you can find something to help you along the way in the truths that I've learned:

• Sometimes you have to choose between loving them and being the good guy.
• Sometimes you'll get it wrong and you'll have to apologize so they have an example of what to do when they get it wrong.
• ​Some days will be hard and some days will be easy. 
• Nobody knows your child better than God, keep Him on speed dial!
• Patience is not a terrible thing to pray for, it is a REALLY REALLY good thing to pray for and accept.
• You're not failing if you child gets bite by a tick, comes home with lice, gets hospitalized, comes home with a Quasimodo face from an infected tooth, or has to see a counselor. (True stories, we survived, life goes on, this happened over time not in the same day Phew!)

​

There are moments that my husband and I look at our sons and wonder ‘did we lose the manual somewhere’. One of them will decide to do something completely out of character for themselves, or so different from what we remember experiencing with the others. They are certainly, each their own little man. They each have their own quirks and qualities.
There are times that they can be so sweet, inspiring, and creative. Then there a times that they can be so crazy, loud, and destructive.
I remember having a friend over once that had one little girl younger than our boys. The boys were being pretty rowdy. My husband and I could tell that they were trying to impress this baby girl, show her how much fun they were, show her how cool their toys were. It was actually kind of amusing. Our friend asked, ‘is it like this all the time?’
We both laughed it off in that moment but knew that we were each thinking the same thing ‘oh sweet single child parent, you have no idea what chaos is, this is just the calm before the storm’.

Take a moment to thank God for the quite moments, the noisy moments, the rowdy moments, and the tender moments. 

Sometimes it's difficult to be the only female in a house full of testosterone. I don't always understand the constant need for wrestling, battling, and struggling. I think about them starting their own packs one day and I get a little excited. But, I'm also not in any hurry for them to do this today because I know they're not yet ready.
As frustrating as it is sometimes to watch them struggling to see who is the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, the loudest, and yes, even the stinkiest; I have to recognize this is their way of fighting for who God made them to be.
They are each Alphas. And one day they will each have their own packs to lead. As their mom, I need to love them through each stage and through each of their unique quirks. I have to look past the cubs I see before me and envision the Alphas they will soon become.

Raising boys can be exhausting, but we're loving every moment of it. 

Look past your cubs to the Alphas,
Nicole

Mother's Day is this Sunday. So, I thought I'd take a moment to reflect on what it means to be a mom. I don’t know that anyone could compile the perfect list of all that it takes to be a mom. I don’t even know if one could really exist because every single child is different, every mom is different. I can only tell you what I do know. ​

​​I think I had to take my oldest son to the doctor maybe one or two times within his first six years of life. So, when I found myself going to the doctor's office every 4-6 weeks with my middle son I felt like a failure. I'd walk in and say, "Something is not right, he has this high fever and he's just not acting like himself." The doctor would listen to his chest, do all the regular things, and then give him some medicine to fight off whatever 'virus' he might be battling.

I would gladly accept that there was nothing wrong with my child, I'd pick up the medicine, and life would be golden for about 4-6 weeks. Then I'd find myself in the office once more. I was not a doctor, I didn't have a medical degree, but I knew in my heart that this was not ok. I had probably taken him to the doctor at least 4 or 5 times and the emergency room at least twice because I knew that something was wrong. His fever had spiked and wouldn't come down or he wasn't acting like his normal self.

They said they didn't hear anything and he seemed to be fine but they would do a chest x-ray just to confirm. I told them that I'd rather the x-ray come back and show nothing than walk out the door knowing that something was wrong. The doctor told me that if they hadn't seem the x-ray they wouldn't have believed it because his lungs sounded completely normal. My little guy had to be admitted to the hospital, for three days, so they could treat him for pneumonia. Doctors do what they do and they are good at it but there's something about a mother's relationship with their child that defines logic. To me, 'mother's intuition' is really the Holy Spirit helping you parent the child that God has given you. ​