Wow, November was the last time that I blogged. It's amazing how easy it is to get into a funk and neglect things. Maybe I should reclassify myself from blogger to slogger (Slacker that poses as a blogger). I get overwhelmed sometimes by these bloggers that seem to have it all together. They are posting all the time about everything. I think it'd be easy to sign up for a reality TV show. At least them I don't have to worry about editing, posting, content, or anything of the such. I'd just spout stuff off as it comes to me and the cameras would always be rolling. Ha, awkward!
Well, this post is to simply let you know that I am alive. I survived my pity party of having to return to the 'normal' workforce and I am determined to complete a middle grade level novel this year for my son.
I've been writing for the majority of my life. Whether it be diaries, journals, picture books, scripts, poems, chapter books, short stories, parodies, song lyrics, instruction guides...there's a lot of avenues to write in. However, I have not been involved with other writers very much.
I joined a children's writing course when I was seventeen or eighteen but I never completed the course. I didn't value the insight that they provided. I saw the tasks as 'hindering my creativity'. I couldn't be prompted on what to write, I was an artist (thought my teenage self). So, I discarded that useful information and never completed the course. Man, did I have a few things to learn!
Then I went to a writer's workshop and learned how to self-publish. That was a great experience. I was finally able to get my stories into the hands of readers. I was able to easily pick up on the mechanics of the process (formatting and publishing) but the marketing and promoting eluded me. So I had to turn my attention elsewhere (pretty much get a 'normal' job to pay the bills).
I also received an opportunity to work as a ghostwriter with a small ghostwriting company. I was nervous because I didn't (and still don't) have any professional schooling, awards, or anything like that for writing. I worked on a few projects and had a really good time. It pushed my limits as a writer. I found myself writing on different topics and writing in different styles to accommodate the voice of the 'author'. But because the unknown freaks me out a bit, I backed off and settled into a corporate job with a steady income rather than pursuing commission work with ghostwriting.
This past year, I joined a writer's critique group that started at my local library. After a few meetings I wasn't sure if I would make it. I felt like these writers were way out of my league. They were all educated in writing industry lingo that months later I'm still attempting to figure out. Most of them know all the ways that manuscripts can be submitted and rejected. They know all these English terms. It boggles my mind.
But despite all the ups and downs, the lack of knowledge, lack of confidence, lack of substantial income, one thing remains- I love to write.
If you are a writer and, like me, you can't seem to get away from it, I encourage you TO WRITE! And keep these things in mind along your journey:
Life’s a Trip (All This is Real)
(c) 2019 Nicole Donoho
Hey you / how’s it going inside? / I wish that I knew / if you thought that I could read your mind / that thought lied to you / the truth is that I’m kinda scared /I’m lost /what should I do / do I trust what you say to me / or is what my gut tell me true? / I don’t know how to navigate this space that I’m in / this is all quite new to me / I want it to end (want it to end?) / yeah, that’s what I feel / but it’s all just begun/ this teeter totter back and forth, this spinning around / this searching for a quick fix / but it seems no one is found / so what do we do with this life? / what do we do with what we feel? / are we just on a bad trip? / or is all of this real?/
it’s real / I tell you it’s real / how you feel deep inside / and there’s no place to hide / it’s real / all that you feel / we’re gonna get through this night / yeah you gotta hold tight / ‘cause it‘s real
hey you / I just thought I’d let you know / that I’m still here / I said I wouldn’t go (where would I go) / so many things goin’ through my mind / and I’m trin’ to find / the right way to deal / with all that I feel / but I don’t know / which way to go / you’re acting like you’re a burden / that you’re just too much to take / I guess you think you’re my problem / but see that’s your mistake / I was messed up before you got here / I just assumed I was livin’ right / something was deliverin’ a hidden beat down / but I’d forgot how to fight / I was strong (sure) / if that’s what you think / the truth is I was hanging by a thread / and you provided the missing link / and now I know that
it’s real / I tell you it’s real / how I feel deep inside / and there’s no place to hide / it’s real / all that I feel / we’re gonna get through this night / yeah we gotta hold tight / ‘cause it‘s real/
hey you / how’s it going I just gotta check in / see I found this to be a marathon / and here we thought it’d be a quick win / that’s silly, yeah it’s crazy to think / how this life means so much to us but could be ended in a blink / of the eye / you can’t deny / that the struggle ain’t fake / we can’t make the same mistake / pushin’ aside / all that we hide / refusing to share / not letting people care / how’s it gonna help when we can’t ask for help / what are we gonna feel when we bury this pain? / I’ve buried this pain for too long (too long) / and I’ve just felt the same (the same)/ I need a new heart/
Would you reach down deep inside? / find all the secrets that I hide? / mouth to mouth I need revived / I’ve yet to live I’ve just survived / breath your life into my soul / if this is real I’ve got to know/
it’s real / I tell you it’s real / how we feel deep inside / and there’s no place to hide / it’s real / all that we feel / we’re gonna get through this night / yeah let’s stand up and fight / ‘cause it‘s real/
stand up and fight (fight) / fight your life (life) / cause it’s real (real) / all that I feel (feel) / all that you feel (feel) / know that’s real (real) / real what I feel / good and the bad / happy and sad / joy and the pain / sunshine and rain /stand up and fight / this your life / this is my life / all this real / real what we feel (feel) / this is our life so hold my hand / all this is real (real) / yeah this is our life and it’s real/
So...that just happened...
I was having trouble sleeping. My mind was spinning, processing through everything that’s happened over the past seven days. Everything that I’ve seen and everything that God has revealed. From a tiny flower on the sidewalk to the emptiness that others feel inside. From how to help others without taking on their burden (cause it’s lighter for God to carry, duh, Nicole) to helping myself awake from under the walls that I’ve built in my heart. I was deceived into thinking those walls were protecting me but with every step of life they shook loose and buried me deeper and deeper under their weight.
So yeah...sleepless night + God = rap lyrics? Not sure if you’ll find the same humor as I do in God giving me, someone who can’t carry a tone not play an instrument, some AMAZING lyrics like this but you know He works all things together for good so I’ll trust He knows what He’s doing. Goodnight.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
Most of us have probably heard this saying at some point in our lives. Is this statement true or false? This statement is whatever you believe it is. If we believe it is true then words will not have the power to hurt us. They might sting sometimes but we won't allow them to create devastation.
Two weeks ago, I got to speak to a preschool class about the power of our words. We have power to create greatness or destruction and that power comes out of our mouths. We need to ensure that we are using our power for good and not evil.
We must also learn how to filter the words that are spoken to us.
I remember someone saying something negative about the words that I was writing. I allowed those words to latch onto me and like a parasite they sucked the passion from me. What was the point of writing one more word? I threw away so many stories, scripts, and poems during that time. Man, how I regret the power I gave those words.
Take a moment today to think about the words that are shaping your life, hindering your life, inspiring you to grow, holding you back. Words will come at us in all shapes in sizes. Dark evil lies and bright inspiring truths. What words will we believe today? What words will we speak today?
"Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose."
Proverbs 18:21 MSG
Have you ever had one of those days where you just feel like someone drove you through an automatic car wash with the windows down? I'm talking about a day when you have so many things rushing through your mind that you don't even know where to start.
I feel this way quite often. I have so many ideas for books or art that I end up working on nothing because I don't even know where to start.
We've got to start somewhere. I was talking with someone today that said they had a million excuses as to why they weren't able to write a book but they decided they had to sit down and start somewhere. Yes, yes we do! We've got to start somewhere.
Last month, no wait it's May now, so two months ago my husband and I launched a business Teddyfly. (www.teddyfly.com). Originally, we launched the business to sell books and artwork that I have worked on, maybe even dabble in some furniture projects. But, I am realizing that there's probably more to it. If I dwell on the 'more to it' I'll get overwhelmed so typically I will sit down and start working on this one book project or this one piece of artwork.
Life can be overwhelming when we are trying to do everything. I've got a lot of creative venues that I pour into. But I cannot do them all at once. I've got to take things one day at a time. Set goals and work toward them one day at a time.
I am learning to accept that things may not happen overnight but they will happen.
Two years ago, I would have never guessed I would be owning a business and selling books full time but here I am. On day one, it was a far off silly dream and yet here I am still walking it out one day at a time.
What things do you need to take one day at a time?
This is probably my biggest struggle as an author, "I'm just a nobody, who would care to read what I write?"
Then you know what I was thinking today? Man, everybody is a nobody to somebody.
There is somebody in the world who doesn't know Oprah (I know that's probably hard to believe). There's somebody who has never heard of James Patterson, or President Ronald Reagan, or dare I say it...the Kardashians.
Attention writers everywhere...whether you write a blog, or a book, articles for newspapers, script for commercials, or copy for packaging- you are a nobody for somebody.
It's not important how big of a somebody we become. What's important is what we do with the words that bounce around inside our head. Are we going to allow them to dissolve into nothingness because we don't feel worthy enough to write them OR are we going to take a chance write them down and give somebody a chance to be inspired, educated, or entertained?
I think it was last week when my friend sent me a text and asked if her daughter could job shadow me Thursday and Friday this week. She wanted to see what an author does. That's nice I'd like to see what an author does, I laughed.
So, yesterday she showed up ready to be educated. By the end of our day today, I felt like I had been educated on what an author was. We spent yesterday going through all the reasons why I decided this profession, how much my starting pay is (kids always laugh when I say $0), and various challenges that one might face an author.
Then today, because I had procrastinated most of the week on a submission, I suggested that we both work on our stories. We both ended our day with 2000 words (I still have 3000 to go before I can submit so I'll put in a few more hours). But the moral of the story is....write.
We talked about writer's block yesterday and today I said, "You know what, writer's block is just an excuse not to write. if you're stuck on one project move over to another, or sit outside and describe a tree but NEVER EVER walk away from a blank screen feeling defeated.
Yep. I learned something! Now to put in those 3000 more words.
A New Identity
What is this blog about? You mean, I'm supposed to have a purpose? Ok, if that's required then my purpose is life.
Better with age...
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