Christian Clone

There was a day I had to kill my dirty Christian clone
The hypocrite that tried to hide and make my heart its home
I went to church I said the prayers I did things that were 'right'
But all the while struggling with darkness black as night
'God loves you' my mouth would say to everyone around
But grace was something I didn't know, something I'd not found
My simple mind understood repaying good for good, and being right was right
But giving good when bad was done was something it would fight
God's mercy and grace and His amazing love was easy to apply to me
But no one else quite measured up from what my eyes could see
Then one day Jesus said, "I'm glad your heart's my home.
But it's crowded in here so could you make space for me and me alone."
                                                                         -written by Nicole Donoho, August 14, 2018

Brokenness is what I need...

'Negative' prayers are frowned upon. In a world with good guys and bad guys, cops and robbers, superheroes and villains- our mind understand good is good and bad is bad. There are two sides and the two don't mix.

So with that in mind, God is positive all the time, right?

Oh the mistake we make when we try to apply human logic to an infinite Almighty God. 

"The Lord says, “My thoughts are not like your thoughts. Your ways are not like my ways. Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9 NCV

When someone says something 'negative' the immediate religious reaction is that it is not of God. But really, our first reaction should be to question the motives behind it. Does this line up with God's word?

God, break me. Break all the paths that I have created in my life to walk on. Break all the false ideas of who You are and What you desire from me. Renew my mind. Create in me a new heart that aligns with Your heart, with Your desires. Open my eyes to see what you see. Open my ears to hear what you hear. God, I'm here to serve You, send Your Spirit to guide me and direct me. To point me in the directions that I should take. Amen.