I'll be a voice...

Every time I find the courage to post a video, the still shot preview always seems to capture the best picture. And by 'best' I mean a face that reminds me I am so out of my element with public speaking. But, maybe that's okay. Hopefully, my lack and inexperience allows God more room to do His thing.

I started www.goodbyechristianwhore.com to promote a book. I started this blog because I love writing and didn't want the book to end the experience. "Goodbye, Christian Whore" was a snapshot of one experience in my life. One moment of transparency sharing how I navigated through life. This blog was meant to continue that transparency because let's be honest, sometimes we want to be inspired but don't want to part with the $9.99. 

I've been struggling with be a "blogger". I see mommy blogs, I see sports blogs, I see fitness blogs. These people seem to have it all together. They have a theme and they are sticking to it. My blog is all over the place. I write about writing, I write about books, I write about God, I pretty much just write whatever is going on in my life or my general thoughts about life. The lack of theme has made me feel like a failure up to this point. 

But today, when I recorded this video it all came together. There's a voice that keeps telling me I'm failing the competition. It keeps telling me I'm wasting the talents God has given me.

Dear That  Voice,
You are a liar! God did not create this life to be a  competition. He created it to be a collective. Humanity wasn't created to compete with each other, we were created to contribute to each other. Competing requires us to be the best. Contribution allows God to be the best, like it should be. You sly little devil, you almost had me once again. Focused so much on me (my lack of) that I lost sight of God. No worries, I'll take that crap you're dishing out. But I'm done letting it stink up my life. Instead, it's going to fertilize  all that God's trying to grow!
When you taunt me saying that I'll be one voice drown out in a million, I'll be a voice. When you tell me I'm not qualified, I'll be a voice.When you tell me to sit this one out, I'll be a voice. 
I'll be a voice...because it's not about my voice or my story. It's about His story. When life gives you lemons...well, God didn't give me lemons He gave me words so I'm going to write them down, I'm going to speak them out, I'm going to paint them, I'm going to share them in every way that I can. Because that's what I've been given to work with.

God, thank you for growth, inspiration...thank you for being God. My rock in this crazy tornado called life. Amen.