The Narrow Path Part 1: Day 5 of 5

​The Narrow Path Copyright © 2019 Nicole Donoho This 5-Day blog series story is a work of fiction. Names, descriptions, entities, and incidents included in this story are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, events, and entities is entirely coincidental.
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A few vehicles drove past on the highway as we sat in silence. Xander slid over to the driver’s seat and started the pickup. I glanced at the middle seat between us then out the passenger window. There were only a few times that I could remember sitting on the passenger side of his truck. Once when we were babysitting for one of his friends and thought it’d be safer to strap the toddler in the middle rather than next to the door. Another time when we debating over something that was brought up at school. It was so stupid that I couldn’t even remember the topic. And another time when he was planning a senior road trip with his buddies.
 
                Although we were only a few feet apart the distance felt like we could have been riding in separate vehicles. I thought back to the chaos that flooded my mind on the dirt road. Would I have to choose between Xander and God? That seemed silly.
 
                Love God with all your heart*. How can you love God with all your heart and love Xander?
 
The thought crossed my mind but it felt weird, wrong.
 
God, I’m in over my head. I believe you are God but why would you tell me to love you and others if I have to choose between you and Xander. It doesn’t make sense.
 
Xander parked in front of my apartment. We sat in silence for a moment before he killed the engine. “Are we good?”
 
I nodded. As far as we went, we were fine. I was the one with an internal war raging out of control. References from the book, references from the Bible bombarding my mind and hitting just the right points with sniper accuracy.   
 
“Are you sure?”
 
I nodded again without looking over.
 
Xander set his hand on mine. He wasn’t shaking but I recognized the nervousness in his breathing. I turned to him. “We’re good.”
 
I turned to open the door and he grabbed my arm. “Lexi, wait.” I looked down at my arm and he immediately let go. “Call me if you need anything okay?”
 
“Okay.” I kissed his cheek and slid out of the truck. “I love you.”
 
“I love you too.” He replied and leaned back over to his seat. I shut the door and he started the pickup.
 
The engine rumbled softly behind me as I climbed the stairs to the second floor. I glanced down at the pickup parked faithfully in front of the apartment building. He wouldn’t leave until I was in my apartment. I unlocked the door and waved at him. He waved back but remained parked in the spot. I shut the door, locked it, and peeked out the curtain near the door. He began pulling out of the space.
 
I released the curtain and walked to my bedroom. There was a note taped to my door:
 
Lexi- I’m staying at Dexter’s apartment for the weekend and Jessica’s car broke down. She’s stuck at her mom’s house for the weekend while it gets repaired. -Avery
 
“Avery, you’re the only person I know that writes notes instead of sending text messages.” I ripped the note off the door and walked into my bedroom.
 
Images of the lake crossed my mind. You know Xander thinks you’re a crazy person. If you continue down this path, you’re going to lose him.
 
I grabbed the book from my nightstand and plopped down on my bed. If I didn’t find something to get my mind off the lake I’d wind up in a heap of tears once more. I flipped through the pages after my bookmark and a bold chapter title caught my attention: Spiritual Forces
               
The verse from earlier crossed my mind. Not against people but against spiritual forces**.
               
I laid across my bed and began reading.
 
The boogie man in the closet, the monster under the bed, what if I told you these things were real? You’d probably think I was crazy. Most likely, send the padded truck to take me away, right? Why?
Jesus specifically speaks of demons and evil spirits in the New Testament, and yet, it amazes me how many Christians refuse to acknowledge their existence. From my point of view, people outside our faith tend to accept the existence of supernatural forces more openly than people within our faith.
 
That makes me wonder how one can accept that God created the entire universe and galaxies beyond by just the sound of His voice but deny that there are spiritual forces, good and evil, crossing our paths every day.
 
I had my own experience with this on a mission trip overseas. We were backpacking from village to village staying at each village for a day or two, helping them with whatever physical needs they had. We helped repair homes, dug wells, and planted crops. We talked about our faith in casual conversation but never had any kind of meeting or gathering.
 
One night during the second week of our trip I began having suicidal thoughts. These thoughts bombarded my mind repeatedly with such force that I began sobbing. I turned to someone in the group and told them something was wrong with me. These thoughts were crossing my mind and I wasn’t even sure where they were coming from.
 
                I slid my bookmark in the book and closed my eyes. Wasn’t even sure where it came from? That was exactly what I had said earlier. “God, I need your help. I need your wisdom. This is the kind of stuff they don’t teach you in church.”
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NOTE TO READERS: Throughout the story, Lexi’s thoughts contain some references, not quotes, found in scripture. In no way is this meant to be a study or reference of what these scriptures truly mean. Please take the time to look up the scriptures and read them for yourself.
*Luke 10:27, **Ephesians 6:12