The Narrow Path Part 2: Day 3 of 5

​The Narrow Path- Part 2 Copyright © 2019 Nicole Donoho This 5-Day blog series story is a work of fiction. Names, descriptions, entities, and incidents included in this story are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, events, and entities is entirely coincidental.
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I knelt down on the floor in my bedroom. “God, I need your help. I don’t even know where to start or what to do. All I know is that I can’t keep going on this way. I love Xander but I don’t want to marry him just because he wants to have sex. Couldn’t you just show me what to do?”
I listened hoping to hear something, anything. The room was silent. “Why are you always quiet when I need you the most? Don’t you understand how frustrating that is?”
 
Maybe you should call Xander and see how he’s doing. You are the one who keeps messing things up.
 
There it was that stupid thought again. It sounded logically but it weighed on me like an empty bank account with rent due the next day.
 
I closed my eyes. “God, take these thoughts and give me truth. I love Xander but I don’t need him, I need you.”
 
I need you. The words stuck in my head. How much did I need him? Just enough to answer my question and make me feel good? If that’s the case then who was my god, me or God?
 
“God, help me not be selfish. Help me understand your will and what you want.”
 
My cell phone rang. I looked at Jessica’s picture and slid the button to answer it. “Hello?”
 
“Lexi, thank God! I tried calling Avery but she’s not answering.”
 
“Yeah, she left for the mall a little while ago with her sister.”
 
“I was trying to see if she could come help me. I got a flat tire on the other side of the lake.”
 
“Well, she doesn’t get very good cell service there so—”
 
“Well, is there any chance you could come out here?”
 
“That’s a pretty far walk.”
 
“Well yeah, I figured you and Xander would be hanging out today.”
 
I sighed. “He’s not here but I guess I can call him.”
 
“Thanks. Call me back and let me know.”
 
I stared at Xander’s number for a few moments and pressed the button. The phone rang a few times and then went to voicemail. I opened a text message and typed: Hey, not sure what you’re doing today but Jessica just called. She has a flat and can’t get ahold of Avery. Is there any way you can help?
 
My phone buzzed. “Hello?”
 
“Where’s she at?”
 
“She’s out on the other side of the lake. She sent me her location. I’d go out there by myself but I think she needs help sooner than my bicycle will get me there.”
 
“You wouldn’t know what to do when you got there anyway. I’ll pick you up in a few minutes.”
 
Pick me up? He wants to see me?
“You want me to go with you?”
 
“Yes. You know Jessica makes me uncomfortable.”
 
“Ok.”
 
The phone went silent and the call screen disappeared.
 
No ‘love you’ not even a ‘bye’. He’s still upset, this is going to be terrible.
 
I took a deep breathe. “Shut up! Seriously! God, take this thought away and help me to focus on helping Jessica. I have no idea what Xander is thinking and I don’t want to assume things and make it worse. Please, please help me.”
 
I slipped on my shoes, walked outside, and sat on the bottom step to wait. The pine trees across the street bowed slightly from the breeze. The sky was clear except for the few dark clouds off to the east. The rumble of Xander’s motor signaled that he was getting closer. I quickly brushed off my bottom and walked to the edge of the sidewalk.
He pulled into the parking lot, opened his door, and hopped out. I got into the pickup and slid to the middle seat.
 
Right next to him?
 
I buckled my seatbelt before the stupid thought could change my mind. I had sat in the middle since we began dating there was no point of changing it now. I pulled up Jessica’s message and handed the phone to Xander. “Here’s where she’s at.”
 
He looked at the phone. “Oh, she’s out there by Kay’s Diner.”
 
“She is?” The red pin on the map looked as if it was in the middle of nowhere. I was always terrible with directions but he always knew where everything was and five different ways to get there.
 
“Yeah.” Xander turned on the radio and backed out of the parking space.
 
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