Mother's Day is this Sunday. So, I thought I'd take a moment to reflect on what it means to be a mom. I don’t know that anyone could compile the perfect list of all that it takes to be a mom. I don’t even know if one could really exist because every single child is different, every mom is different. I can only tell you what I do know.
I have three boys. Sometimes they are stereotypical boys- they’re rowdy, they’re dusty and muddy, they’re finding bugs, they’re battling each other, they’re stinking up the house and not caring, they’re ‘oh just get over it’ when someone gets hurt.
Then there are time when they're not stereotypical boys-they’re wanting to relax, they’re wanting to take baths, they’re freaking out over flies, they’re helping each other, they’re ‘are you all right’ when someone gets hurt.
Being a mom, is challenging. As Forrest Gump said, “Life’s like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” That’s so true with children. I know some moms cannot wait for their children to get older. Maybe those moms don’t feel like they do very well with that nurturing stage. Maybe they need someone a little more independent to feel comfortable. I know some moms that say they don’t want to leave that baby/toddler stage. (Personally, I think they’re crazy, diapers are a life sucking disgusting black hole of life.) But maybe those moms are scared of how their independent child will no longer need them and they might feel as if they lack purpose.
Before I became a mom, I thought, "It's easy to be a mom, you just have to love your kids." All you need is love, right? How could that be complicated, how could that be difficult? Loving a child is simple, you trained for it with baby dolls and babysitting. You’ve got this. Then you become a mom and find out that the fine print adds: keep this child alive. Okay, that complicates things a bit. I mean, am I really up for this challenge or did God make a mistake by letting me be a mom?
God provides ALL we need to complete the tasks we face!
I think I had to take my oldest son to the doctor maybe one or two times within his first six years of life. So, when I found myself going to the doctor's office every 4-6 weeks with my middle son I felt like a failure. I'd walk in and say, "Something is not right, he has this high fever and he's just not acting like himself." The doctor would listen to his chest, do all the regular things, and then give him some medicine to fight off whatever 'virus' he might be battling.
I would gladly accept that there was nothing wrong with my child, I'd pick up the medicine, and life would be golden for about 4-6 weeks. Then I'd find myself in the office once more. I was not a doctor, I didn't have a medical degree, but I knew in my heart that this was not ok. I had probably taken him to the doctor at least 4 or 5 times and the emergency room at least twice because I knew that something was wrong. His fever had spiked and wouldn't come down or he wasn't acting like his normal self.
God never audibly spoke to me. But I knew that the doctor in the ER thought I was just an overly concerned mother. So I began speaking the truth on my heart. I told them that I wasn't a doctor, I was just a mom, I didn't know symptoms or procedures or anything about their protocols. I didn't WANT my child to be sick but I KNEW that he was and I needed them to humor me.
They said they didn't hear anything and he seemed to be fine but they would do a chest x-ray just to confirm. I told them that I'd rather the x-ray come back and show nothing than walk out the door knowing that something was wrong. The doctor told me that if they hadn't seem the x-ray they wouldn't have believed it because his lungs sounded completely normal. My little guy had to be admitted to the hospital, for three days, so they could treat him for pneumonia. Doctors do what they do and they are good at it but there's something about a mother's relationship with their child that defines logic. To me, 'mother's intuition' is really the Holy Spirit helping you parent the child that God has given you.
How you mom is different than how I mom. But one thing is certain, being a mom is a challenge. Seek God every day for guidance. He knows who your child is and who they will be. And he had this knowledge long before you even considered being their mom.
Just being transparent,
A New Identity
What is this blog about? You mean, I'm supposed to have a purpose? Ok, if that's required then my purpose is life.
Better with age...
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