Who is Nicole Donoho?
This past year, I started reading books again. I say 'again' because I read a lot when I was younger and then stopped once I had my first son. Mainly because I felt like reading was a poor use of my time. I felt I should do more productive things with my time. Such as, watch TV or lazily sit around doing nothing. You know, things like that.
(Insert eye roll)
A lot of the books I've been reading have been encouraging and inspiring. But some of the books, ugh, they make me face those tough questions like, 'Who am I?'
What is my purpose here on this earth? I have one, right? Yes, of course I do.
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..." Jeremiah 1:5 NIV
I've been struggling this past year. Struggling with the desire to do something great and do something great for God. I'll explain...
As an author, there is part of me that wants to one day see my name on the best seller list, any best seller list would do. Why? Because, hearing from close friends and family that you write well feels good; but hearing it from complete strangers feels better?
It's silly right? And this is where my struggle comes in.
As a Christian, I have loathed the best seller lists. I wanted nothing to do with them because I felt like it would be wrong to have that kind of fame/glory. And yet, I also felt wrong not to pursue excellence.
So, here I am, I desire to do something great and I desire to do something great for God. Are these the same desire or are they not?
I've been given this life and I have been given this talent for a purpose. Truth be told, I don't consider writing a talent, I consider it a part of me. For me, writing is like walking or even seeing. Writing is apart of who I am. It's how I interact and respond to the world around me. I write to work through my frustrations. I write to look back on the good times. I write to learn from the bad times.
I'm flattered that you've taken the time to read this. But truth be told, I would have just as soon wrote it in a journal where nobody ever had a chance to read it.
So why am I blogging it instead?
Because my life is not my own. My body is God's temple. My life is a living sacrifice to Him. These have been only words in the past. I have stated them religiously on cue. But more and more each day these words are becoming real. The more that I pursue God, the more I see myself fading.
I want to move forward with excellence. If I was placed in charge of constructing a monument, a temple, or some other kind of structure to honor and give glory to my God; I would want it to be amazing. I'd want to get the best materials I could find.
For whatever reason, I cannot explain, God choose me as this 'structure'. He choose me as His temple, His monument to reside in. He wants to reside in us!
I'm trying my best to hold back the emotions that are flooding over me from the depth of that statement. (Mainly because I don't want to start crying in Onyx Coffee Lab) God, the Creator of the universe, chose me. A living sacrifice to burn bright so others would see He is God.
God, help me to pursue excellence. Not for my own glory, but because You deserve my best. You deserve a beautiful, amazing offering. Something better than I will ever be able to create or give You. Amen.
"So brothers and sisters, since God has shown us great mercy, I beg you to offer your lives as a living sacrifice to him. Your offering must be only for God and pleasing to him, which is the spiritual way for you to worship. Do not be shaped by this world; instead be changed within by a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to decide what God wants for you; you will know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect."
Romans 12:1&2 NCV
A New Identity
What is this blog about? You mean, I'm supposed to have a purpose? Ok, if that's required then my purpose is life.
Better with age...
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